Thursday, October 15, 2009


Been working on bits and pieces of a very emotional blog post. Tough to write .. dunno if I should even go through with it. I began linking pics and ... hrmph.. I dunno.. It feels good to write it out. Seems to help. Today sucked though... a last minute decision to hit up Tim Horton's coupled with driving laziness (not to turn around but go straight) brought us right up through school alley. Not thinking, Kevin and I drove right by Ally and TK.
Now this is the consequence of a series of coincidental events all lining up. I decided to let Kevin drive back. He likes driving the little beast anyways and I was growing irritated of driving all day. This choice made sure that I was in the passenger seat and not having to care about my surroundings; free to gaze around at suburban scenery. Kevin never saw Ally and Tk, 'cause he had to pay attention to the various cars and people. This choice, along with feeding the coffee addiction and the choice to go straight rather then just loop around the circle and hit up timmies on Baseline. The only bonus was that the coffee was free. :)
However, I didn't even bother drinking it (till right about now! btw, cold timmies sucks ass!!). Came home and started swallowing wine. Now considering I barely touch booze - you know I'm little skiddish if I don't bother cracking a joke or razzing somebody, don't saw hello, and b-line for something with alcohol content!
Generally, I can take emotional strikes and blows fairly well. But this.... this leans on me.... hell, I've tried going out on a couple of dates... 1. I can't shake the feeling that I'm cheating on someone 2. I can't help but keep thinking about her. Obviously not ready ... not fair to me.. not fair to others... Perhaps I shall complete this post .. considering I can whine and moan for this many words .. It'll probably help. ....... Afterall, our time here is short. The measure of our life is done so by our actions, and our accomplishments while we are here. Thus, dealing with my emotions seems to be the logical conclusion. Otherwise, I can not properly focus. With that in mind, I suppose my attempts are burying and forgetting is what is lengthening the time I need to heal... heal .. hrmph... never in my most wildest of dreams did I ever think it would end this way. Ever ... even thinking about the potentials of failure, never did I think this height of drama... ever .... argh! and this civilian job offer... to be network monkey again..... now that would be quite the circle!!!

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